The flip side of prioritizing someone

Many wish to be someone’s closest, wish to be someone’s go-to, wish to be someone’s first- someone’s priority. It gives a sense of comfort- a sense of social security, that maybe this person is going to be there forever, they’ll understand us, always be there for us. We tend to feel like we are their first priority and naturally often return the favor and prioritize them back.

It feels like bliss, having someone you trust the most, can share everything with, enjoy the most with, can be yourself around. They tend to become the focal point of our social circle and that is where we put ourselves at risk of pain.

It is alright to prioritize someone, but in this unstable stage of life called the teenage- it might not be the best of ideas if not controlled. Look around, there is so much to appreciate, your friend circle is not just that one person you prioritize. There will be acquaintances that look up to you and appreciate you, your other friends out of your priority circle who might be prioritizing you, family (siblings, elders, cousins..) who might be doing a lot for you and supporting you through everything, people who think you are out of their league and are scared to approach you, people who wish to befriend you and so much more goodness out there that prioritizing someone often inhibits you to see.

Prioritizing someone gives them the power to hurt you- on purpose, or by virtue of circumstances. People change, or often take decisions to prioritize themselves, or without thinking much, which will end up hurting you. They could stop giving you importance, end up believing rumors and stop trusting you, cut off contact at random or just have to leave because of circumstances- migration, becoming busy and unable to talk/meet etc. The latter acts as a catalyst for thoughts that the other person doesn’t care anymore, or that they don’t consider you as important as you consider them and caters to insecurities but due to the length of it and how to deal with it shall be left for another post.

In conclusion, prioritizing someone puts yourself at risk of getting hurt and also leads you to unintentionally hurt others as your focus tends to be on one person and you end up not giving your other friends the attention and appreciation they deserve. If you still wish to really prioritize someone, come to terms with the belief that life is a journey and everyone who comes by is a traveler and will eventually leave. Hold on to the lessons they teach and not them. While this may not always be the case, coming to terms with this belief is the greatest protection from hurt of people leaving.

Image result for quotes on people leaving

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